This year, I’ll be turning 27 and have had a bit of a wobble… you may have read my posts “I’m having an existential crisis” and “4 reasons I’m addicted to reading posts about what I should be doing in my twenties“.

A few nights ago I was sitting in my lounge listening to Simon and Garfunkel – ironically with all the progressions in technology, I’ve reverted back to books that don’t have an “e-” preceding them and record players.

I’d pulled out a stack of photographs my 12 year old self took on a disposable camera while I was visiting a childhood friend in Greece. It was the year 2001 and for 10 short months I called the city of lights my home. I’m a 90’s kid through and through, so naturally I also have a stack of hand written letters and postcards from that time, a butterfly clip, and a stamp ring. I should go down to Bree Street and auction it off to the highest hipster bidder.

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There is a secret weapon you have when you’re a kid, it’s called “how to be yourself” without being told how. I remember running through river warrens in Kirstenbosch, looking for tadpoles and what lay at the end of the path, my imagination bubbling with the possibilities. It was so effortless to be me, no Ted Talk or advice needed. Pure bliss – at least that’s how my memory plays it back.

“The more you love a memory, the stronger and stranger it is.” – Vladimir Nabokov

I should be present I know. Instead I tend to look back at my past or worry about the uncertainty ahead. There are so many possibilities, so many choices, how will I find my way? But if I had to write type a letter to myself (just a letter, open letters are stupid), it would go something like this:

Dear Rebecca,

You’re alright. You’re not the words that people have said about you, the perceptions they have of you or even your own thoughts about yourself.

Don’t overthink things (cliches are not going to stab you in the middle of the night). You do know who you are, you just don’t always like yourself – but you’re starting to realise that you should, because you’re pretty awesome.

Keep dreaming, keep reaching, don’t give up on the things you hold dear. 

Love,

Becs x

P.S. Stop frowning so much, you’re starting to get permanent lines on your forehead.

P.P.S. Stop smoking, that isn’t helping either!