I’ll say it, Jennifer Lawrence was not a good fit for the Hunger Games… and I’m not just referring to her character’s skinny jeans. I mean, doesn’t the name of the book say it all? HUNGER Games. They’re meant to be hungry – as in, I didn’t just have a big bowl of two minute noodles, washed down with a protein bar and a smoothie.

Why couldn’t they land an actress like Keira Knightley for the role of Katniss Everdeen? Waif thin but fierce as hell. Is that too much to ask? Please don’t get me wrong here; this really isn’t about joining the Hollywood hounds in their fatting expedition. Jennifer Lawrence is a perfectly healthy individual. It’s just unfortunate that she happens to be portraying Katniss, a brave but (keyword here) STARVING girl. Who did not eat every single guinea fowl she shoots with her bow and arrow.

Surrounded by a cast of people who pull off the appearance of legitimately emaciated coal miners, Jennifer Lawrence just looks like she walked off the gravy train with a takeaway for the games.

You don’t need the whole damn door to survive Rose!

It’s like when Kate Winslet wouldn’t budge up so Leo could float next to her on the door in Titanic. We all looked at that situation and thought: voluptuous woman hogs ginormous door while skinny man freezes to death. People have devoted many precious hours of their lives to drawing diagrams that show how the door was PLENTY big enough for the both of them. I get it yknow? Survival of the fittest is a strong theme in both of these movies. But at the end of the day, Rose chose her healthy appetite and a guaranteed existence over love. That’s the real reason Titanic is a romantic tragedy.

The only difference between Titanic and The Hunger Games is that maybe James Cameron wanted it that way. His movie added an element of fiction to true events; it wasn’t based on a book. I don’t think Suzanne Collins intended the protagonist of her sensational science fiction debut to credit a peanut butter sandwich with her finish line win. It’s a miracle she didn’t gobble down those poisonous berries in Mocking Jay.

There’s No Hunger Here

In case I haven’t reiterated this point enough, Jennifer Lawrence did not translate into the lean, mean butt-kicking machine readers of The Hunger Games books had drawn in their mind. She’s just too well nourished for the role. Unless these films are meant to be a parody of their fictive counterparts, all I can say is: don’t judge the books by their movies. They had no control over the casting.